No Vacancy!

Adventure # 28 Crazy For You!

What do most people do before they have a house guest come over?? Yep, u guessed it. They hide stuff and they clean. In my case, I clean a lot. I don't like things untidy or not exceptionally clean but when having a house guest over; I clean before like CRAZY! At one point on wed. just before my house guest arrived, I washed and rewashed my hard wood floors. After 5 buckets of black and hair filled dirty water, I was ready for my girl to enter my "woman's den" as my friend poo bear said to me one night. My girl was in town and with a fun-filled weekend plan, she was packed and ready for fun. Brutus on the other hand was ready for "new blood!" New smells, new lotions, new chica! My dog is horny. My dog is CRAZY! The one thing bad about the start of the night was: I had to work, I had to make money, she had to let herself in. She hasn't seen Brutus in a year and with the turn of the key, he was ready to jump, claw and make out with her. I did warn her from the start of the night that my dog loves wheels. As spoken before, his attempt at skateboarding proved his complete O.C.D complex for wheels. Friday night fight? Shanna VS. Brutus. Brutus Vs. The Suitcase. At the start of the bell, Brutus parachutes across the room and springs on Shanna's suitcase. Via text I discover that my house guest is instantly annoyed, I discover my house guest is googling the nearest "Ho Jo!" If you are not familiar with the name "Ho Jo," it is a term best to describe the nearest and cheapest classy Howard Johnson Motel. My "den" is no Ho Jo. I have 600 count new Calvin Klein sheets and matching Green Gatorade in the fridge. This place comes with 1000 channels via FiOS, Mac computers, a drop top Jeep and the best BFF ever. This bitch isn't going no where. After many almost raped incidents in the bathroom, she was on her way to meet me, she was on her way to take some shots! The one thing good about going to work is enjoying the great Friends that do come up and see me. It makes the night go faster and it never hurts the tip jar! Though, the one that should have been taking tips that night, was my girl Shanna. "Shanna put the baby crate up so he will not get into the the bedroom and chew up your stuff!! Shanna, CREATE A "SAFE ZONE" BARRIER BETWEEN YOU AND BRUTUS." says the Mother of Brutus. If you have never been to my house, I understand (my readers in China) are the only ones excused; you think that I am probably making up the idea, that I have to actually create physical barriers between my dog and other people. Well, apparently the barriers within my confines are not safe. The $ 19 Walmart plastic one I have makes my dog laugh. My girl placed this "safe zone" shield between her and the beast and he I was told that my dog literally leapfrogs over it with no care. There is too much to say, so I will sum it up with my famous list of incidents. Baby crate proves to be incredibly useless, friends laptop case with laptop inside turns into a tug-of-war challenge, friends suitcase handle chewed off, hole the size of his massive balls created in suitcase, garbage can gets pillaged through, $ 20 St. Armand's dog toy for friends own mutt gets abducted, BFF gets raped and are kissing, and gooey drool is unwanted, bruises from attack calculated, slobber stains on new dress are left for evidential support and last minute attack results in best friend regretting not sleeping in some: you-know-what-covered stain sheets in the $ 49.95 dollar a night shack down the street. Its enough to make you go Crazy and I am amazed that I haven't yet! The song from the weekend the song to sum it all up! Enjoy!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F58TfYHqLak