Rub a Dub Dub!

Adventure #40 Mom, I dropped the Soap!

Some people have the perfect shower experience. They have matching soaps with matching towels. They have Silver Moen faucets equipped with Jacuzzi style jets. The Beautiful Perfection of crown molding and granite counter tops. I have a sink and a tub. See, I live in an old Florida House and with old and the inexpensive rent; it is what it is. I have been hearing that phrase a lot lately and I feel it applying to various things in my life. It is what it is, what it is: a freaking place to pee and place to have my 10 mins. to quickly reapply makeup when one of my friends needs "a drinkin' buddy." My buddy lately comes short, stubby, rough and tough. He snarls at Pastel Popped-Collar Boys, he hates the "high maintenance Siesta Key girl" and he absolutely hates being left untended. I have a standard shower curtain and with that, there is literally a simple piece of cloth between me and the beast. Picture this: I'm tired, eyes barely opened, hair in a Kewpie Doll Styled Hairdo see: (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kewpie_doll) and who comes barreling through this tiny sheet I have? Yep, you guessed it... Brutus. In past posts, I have mentioned his love for anything girlie. He especially loves soap. Brutus goes in, charges for the soap, jumps out again, half-wet and charges down the hallway. I am dripping, with conditioned hair running down my face and he thinks this is all a game! He "hides" under the coffee table as usual and I go plummeting right for what's left of my Dove Soap! Is that the end of the story...well unfortunately no! Here is small list of things Brutus has fearlessly taken possession from the tub. And also why I am beginning to think he might be coming out of the closet this year???!

Stolen Item                                    Believed Reasoning

My Koosh Ball For Lathering       (Does he want to freshen up before the dog park?)
Any Soap Form                             (He loves Lavender cause it's this years color?)    
A Rubber Duckie                          (A Present for his new partner?)
Razors                                           (He must have that Fresh Clean Look?)
Wash Cloths                                  (Maybe he is stealing them as part of a Craft Project?)
Full Body Wash Bottles                (He Loves The Feeling when It hits his butt!)

There is a Little saying that I made up during the first few months of owning Brutus.. You have to sing it in a winy, girlie voice like you would be teasing a boy you liked! "AH MY NAME IS BRUTUS! LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! PAY ATTENTION TO ME!! NA NA NA NA!!" I realized that this is all he wants! He loves to grab my attention, he likes to provoke me and he cannot stand me ignoring him! Well, the bath ritual will most likely go on unless I get that exciting shower door I always wanted. Or a new dog that is not metrosexual! I guess.. It Is what it is!