Adventure # 9 Chocolate or Vanilla?
It's Three A.M. and I just got off a long, hard night at work. My recently responsible 6 month bulldog, has finally achieved the right to be out of his crate, when I am at work. Well, so I thought. This is back at my old place where it is covered in nice white carpet and in a perfectly organized living room. Small but ideal for my boyfriend Brutus and I to call home. He runs up to me as I open the door with a tube of super glue in his mouth. Ummmmmm... O.K. So he wants to follow in his Mom's paw steps for love for crafts or we are in trouble. BIG TROUBLE. Picture this: Torn baskets, half-chewed packs of gum, shredded tissue paper, chew-up scissors, spilled blue ink at least three feet across the carpet and blue footprints leading in and out of the scene of the crime. Well, I don't have to be a forensic scientist to realize that my bulldog is GUILTY!!! He now is parading with 3-4 tubes of hot glue gun refills and I soon realize I want a refund on this damn dog! Either that or I am going to hot glue gun his ass inside that freaking crate! I can't believe that I thought he was growing up already and I can't believe that I didn't notice all the poop? Well, traveling into my bedroom was Dairy Queen Style Soft Serve Ice Cream Doodles all over my bed, the floor and more craft supplies. And the best surprise was ironically an envelope marked: SAVINGS! Yep, I stash extra money in this envelope when ever its laying around, and one day I would have used it for a down payment or a trip to Tahiti or something! Each dollar bill is now soaked in juicy, smelly, blue inked-filled poooooo!! REALLY? Now, it's at least 4 A.M. I have already made the sobbing call to the X Boyfriend and I am on the floor trying salvage whats left of all of this? "Mr. Guilty and Get the Hell Away from Me comes up and licks my tear-filled face. God, his cute little "I need Botox face," does it every time. Ahhhhhh BOOOOOOOOOO It's O.K.
It's Three A.M. and I just got off a long, hard night at work. My recently responsible 6 month bulldog, has finally achieved the right to be out of his crate, when I am at work. Well, so I thought. This is back at my old place where it is covered in nice white carpet and in a perfectly organized living room. Small but ideal for my boyfriend Brutus and I to call home. He runs up to me as I open the door with a tube of super glue in his mouth. Ummmmmm... O.K. So he wants to follow in his Mom's paw steps for love for crafts or we are in trouble. BIG TROUBLE. Picture this: Torn baskets, half-chewed packs of gum, shredded tissue paper, chew-up scissors, spilled blue ink at least three feet across the carpet and blue footprints leading in and out of the scene of the crime. Well, I don't have to be a forensic scientist to realize that my bulldog is GUILTY!!! He now is parading with 3-4 tubes of hot glue gun refills and I soon realize I want a refund on this damn dog! Either that or I am going to hot glue gun his ass inside that freaking crate! I can't believe that I thought he was growing up already and I can't believe that I didn't notice all the poop? Well, traveling into my bedroom was Dairy Queen Style Soft Serve Ice Cream Doodles all over my bed, the floor and more craft supplies. And the best surprise was ironically an envelope marked: SAVINGS! Yep, I stash extra money in this envelope when ever its laying around, and one day I would have used it for a down payment or a trip to Tahiti or something! Each dollar bill is now soaked in juicy, smelly, blue inked-filled poooooo!! REALLY? Now, it's at least 4 A.M. I have already made the sobbing call to the X Boyfriend and I am on the floor trying salvage whats left of all of this? "Mr. Guilty and Get the Hell Away from Me comes up and licks my tear-filled face. God, his cute little "I need Botox face," does it every time. Ahhhhhh BOOOOOOOOOO It's O.K.
No comments:
Post a Comment