Sweaty Summer Days

Adventure #42 Real Men Love Pink

I don't know about anyone besides me but I will take a stab in the dark to say... IT'S FREAKING REALLY HOT! Summer days are here. That means me getting up even earlier to walk my little muffin butt. At 8:02 A.M. our Starbucks run and walk are done and at the end of the finish line there is a new addition! OK so I am not as well off as some of Florida friends. I Rent = No Pool. :( During this time of the year I would absolutely love a pool. I have never been a strong swimmer and I am guessing with his neon life jacket and my love for Miller Light, it would be a emergency situation anyways. So, I am stuck with my $10 dollar pool from Walmart, it's amazing! Its Hot Pink. I went yesterday of course to just pick up the basics and ended up having a $180.00 bill on God Knows what. I know what you are thinking, Hot Pink? Brutus is a boy, and by his two hanging glands I was worried. During the drive home, I kept peeking back at this purchase shoved into the back of my Jeep. What if he doesn't like it? What if he wanted the Nemo One? What if I should just shoot myself now because this is the highlight of my day? I took chance, like most things in my life, filled it up with Florida's finest spritzer and let him have at it. This is the result of sexual frustration and perhaps the color. (on him not me.) You be the judge. Victoria Secret and Ralph Lauren both think so. Do real men actually love pink?

Hot In The City!

Adventure #30 When You See The Look In Her Eyes Tonight!

On our walks over the last few days, we have been getting more honks then usual. Maybe it is because I have decided to not just roll out of bed in my P.J.'s and walk him anymore....maybe it is because Bru is looking extra manly and extra muscular. He will be two in September, holy crap we have been through a lot. He is about full grown now and his waist has gotten smaller.  His chest and shoulders have quickly turned into a handsome young man. We have been making frequent stops at this little cute Key West Style house down the street. On our walks, no one seems to be home. There are no noises coming from the house. Though oddly enough, Bru sits and sets up a protest every single time we pass this place. What's the deal? Quad Ice Vente in hand I am ready to rocket home but he sits still. He wont budge, he wont wavier, his stubborn ass sits and pants in the Florida Heat at this particular Driveway. So, tonight I finally discovered the answer. We made our way around the bend and towards what will soon be known as "Loverville." Yep the informative owner was outside, steaks on the grille sizzilin', so I first thought it might have been Bru's love of red meat... well kinda. His love of Red Meat came in a 12 pound Bichon Frise form. Now, if you don't know what these little bitches look like see my pics to the side. If you don't understand my frustration, I am mother and my dog is acting like a dog. Of Course he pics the French Kind. Of course he picks the petite miss thing from down the street that is pristine, snobby and too good for my Brutus. I pictured my dog humping another Bulldog. The bulldog that can skateboard, doesn't wear frilly pink dresses and listens too music other then Taylor Swift. YUUUUUUKKK! O.K. a little off track. Anyways, the reason why Brutus has been making gentlemanly callings at this residence is because she is in heat. Ah..... Great. She lives 5 doors down. He is horny as hell and with his swollen balls, there is no more walking in the neighborhood. Next thing you know he will be gelling his hair and wearing tight polo shirts. Next thing you know he will be headed to Gold's Gym grinning and posing in front of the perfect, shiny mirrors. The only mirror he needs to be looking at is the one on my face that says: ON llEH ... For the slow ones in the group, on lleh held up in a mirror spells: HEll NO! NO CHANCE. WE ARE OUT! I don't care if "you are hot in the city," I don't care if, "she is stranger on a hot summer night!" Thanks Billy for the lyrics. Ironically I on the other paw, have been in heat for over a year now. It seems the "dogs" in this town apparently don't take walks in my neighborhood.