Purchasing An Expensive Slap Chop!

Adventure #22 What To Do About His You-Know-Whats? 


So, I think I Have put it off for long enough...What's the deal with my dog's nuts? To chop or not to chop, that is the question... My vet said yes from the very first time they met, my bruises from the humping say yes, my x says Hell No, my sister says please do it so you will stop bitching, all my guy friends say DON'T DO IT!! But, what does Brutus say? Is he still a "man" without them? Will he still be my Brutus? Do I ever wanna breed him? He is a pretty sexy, little meatball. After much research, I am still searching for the magic tool and advice in nut chopping? Is there a Doggy One step Slap Chop? What about Neuticles? You know those fake plastic dog balls like cheap fake breasts? Can I keep them afterwards in the freezer next to my vodka? Can I seal them up in a plastic sip lock bag and hang them from my jeep rear view mirror? Can they be bronzed? Will he start to act like a girl and wanna watch Life Time Television all the time? These are all questions that I need answers too! I need these answers NOW! So, I have been rambling on for just over two months now and I have received some good feedback and a few "oh, I'm trying to help you crap." So, this is your chance. Chop? Or No Chop? I would like a comment back from everyone that reads this article. It takes two secs.. come on people!!! Bru's Nuts are on the chopping block! His swollen glands are asking for your intake! Let me know. ASAPBBNDOU! (as soon as possible because Brutus's Nuts depend on you!) See ya later, I am off to go have a delicious non-threatening chopped salad.