Adventure #20 The Perfect Match
Strong, dependable, courageous, tough, sensitive, funny, handsome and gentle. Are we still talking about Brutus? Well, yes... kinda. I was just walking with my boyfriend Brutus this morning and I realized he has the exact same qualities that I look for in a guy. Conscience? I think Not! I have compiled a list of what would be his face book stats or his personal add and this is what "we" came up with.
SINGLE-WHITE-ENGLISH-MAN-SEEKS-A LOT- OF-ATTENTION-FROM-CUTE-NON-COMPLICATED-LOVING-FUN-FILLED-NON-SLUTTY-FEMALE:
Strong- Have you seen his quad muscles?
Sweet- In the mornings..he really is.
Soft Kisser- See above
Handsome- Hello? Enough said.
Funny- I think I have already explained funny things he has done.
Environmentalist- Um, yeah he poops a lot= FREE FERTILIZER!
Good With Kids- Is gentle and curious about all children.
Loves His Mommy- Quality and Rule Should be Number 1!
Loves the Outdoors- Parks, The Ocean, The Bars (my Fave!)
Sports- Cubs For Life! Professional Skateboarder.
Takes Walks- He Takes Time to Take it All in, Breathes and Relaxes.
Please Print In Sunday Newspaper! Well, that is pretty much his best qualities and therefor should be able to meet his perfect match. Now, if I could only find a person-version of him, minus the slobber and the farts....
Showing posts with label Kisses. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kisses. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
Date Night Smack Down
Adventure #18 Delay of Game
There are two extra balls on the court! They say that females are the ones that get primped and pretty for any date but that was not the case for my English Bulldog Brutus Last Night. Yep, u guessed, he was extra white, teeth brushed, nails filed and face de-drooled. He was looking good and excited! We were headed for Uncle Rob's and Aunt Alicia's House. Casa DE Mojitos and Oyster BBQ. The thrill of him jolting towards the front door to see his lady in waiting, the one his only... a pretty boxer named Rica! See they were sweethearts right from the start at the age of 9 weeks. Growing anticipation for the longing for her he sprinted through the living room, to find two extra surprises! ANOTHER MAN????? Game Over Brutus! You got shot down! Two extra balls were flying through the air and on to his sweethearts face! WTFHIHDH??????? Translation (what the flying heck is he doing here)!!!!!! Yep, another Boxer! And a big one! He was rough around the edges, face all torn up and weathered! Eyes when they glare back at you only can imagine that this dog's been places..(If you know what I mean.) BOOOOOO! I have yet to mentioned in my blog that um mm drum roll? Brutus is a Virgin! He is as pure and white as his perfect coat and has been waiting for his long lost love Rica. Fast forward to the second half when all Hell breaks loose! Brutus comes to find this horn dog mounting his princess with no shame; right in front of him! Thrusting and Pumping in the middle of the back yard. Face full of dirt and shame covers the vibe of the party like warm spilled Jello. They sniff each other and give light butterfly I miss you kisses, and then the unwelcome bastard mixed breed, ugly, unclaimed pimp comes racing for her! Brutus turns to me as if to say, "Mom, really? I am so more handsome!" We go on with our BBQ, and Bru takes his place gentlemanly on the chair and patiently waits for his princess to return to his side. AHHHH Booo.... His lady glances back at him and whispers.... I Still Olive Juice!
There are two extra balls on the court! They say that females are the ones that get primped and pretty for any date but that was not the case for my English Bulldog Brutus Last Night. Yep, u guessed, he was extra white, teeth brushed, nails filed and face de-drooled. He was looking good and excited! We were headed for Uncle Rob's and Aunt Alicia's House. Casa DE Mojitos and Oyster BBQ. The thrill of him jolting towards the front door to see his lady in waiting, the one his only... a pretty boxer named Rica! See they were sweethearts right from the start at the age of 9 weeks. Growing anticipation for the longing for her he sprinted through the living room, to find two extra surprises! ANOTHER MAN????? Game Over Brutus! You got shot down! Two extra balls were flying through the air and on to his sweethearts face! WTFHIHDH??????? Translation (what the flying heck is he doing here)!!!!!! Yep, another Boxer! And a big one! He was rough around the edges, face all torn up and weathered! Eyes when they glare back at you only can imagine that this dog's been places..(If you know what I mean.) BOOOOOO! I have yet to mentioned in my blog that um mm drum roll? Brutus is a Virgin! He is as pure and white as his perfect coat and has been waiting for his long lost love Rica. Fast forward to the second half when all Hell breaks loose! Brutus comes to find this horn dog mounting his princess with no shame; right in front of him! Thrusting and Pumping in the middle of the back yard. Face full of dirt and shame covers the vibe of the party like warm spilled Jello. They sniff each other and give light butterfly I miss you kisses, and then the unwelcome bastard mixed breed, ugly, unclaimed pimp comes racing for her! Brutus turns to me as if to say, "Mom, really? I am so more handsome!" We go on with our BBQ, and Bru takes his place gentlemanly on the chair and patiently waits for his princess to return to his side. AHHHH Booo.... His lady glances back at him and whispers.... I Still Olive Juice!
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