Bigger Stinky Fish To Fry

Adventure #78 Single Me No Mas

For months now, I have received many texts, emails and face to face questions as to wether or not I am writing my blog anymore. A lot of funny things have happened with sprinkles of some uncertainty in all of this. Brutus is well and according to him and some other interesting characters (Keith.) I have to decided to once again get back at it and put my twisted thoughts all out on paper.

A lot has happened since October. Brutus had his birthday and I had my single self taken off the table. I am a "we?" Ummmmm pardon me? It's been over six months since I met Mr. 4th of July and things are as easy breezy as they ever have been. Well, with us anyways. There is the a small 63 pound growth that sits beneath my ones polished toes. The new guy is well aware that It's a package  deal. Though, what is the point of ones limitations? Just how many poops, excessive barking, drool piles, torn backpacks, half-eaten shoes and sexual attempts to Mommy gone terribly wrong will one guy take?

Do u ever come home from a long day, get in your comfy clothes and attempt to reboot and relax? Well, most people with poodles and lazy lapdogs don't have a clue just how long it takes the two of us to simply just sit on the couch together... Here is a list of "our" sometimes successful and sometimes failed attempts at just dating... Me and you and that white turkey meatball that just wants Mommy all to himself!!!

Running
Extensive long walks
Basketball
Skateboarding
Garbage can carrying
Tug of war with coat hangers
Beer
Peanut butter stuffed toys with Benadryl inserts
Dog parks
Play dates with other furry friends
Tennis
Swimming
Mommy wine
Expensive enlarged dog bones
Melatonin prescribed by doctor and...
My exciting and usually successful TURKEY SPRINTS!!!!!!!!
????? Picture this: The off leash crazy bulldog gets a whiff of a savory piece of turkey! Then the boyfriend goes running as I hold the furious dog with all my strength! Then on the count of 3 I let go as the mouth-watering bulldog goes sprinting towards his reward of real turkey! After about 4-6 passes of both of us looking ridiculous and stinking of slobber and turkey we return home and cross our fingers! Maybe tonight we can watch 20 minutes of Chelsea lately.. But most likely it will be ten!