Monday, May 30, 2011

A Male Figure

Adventure # 32 Going To Daddy's

So, those of you that know me personally, know that Brutus has a Daddy. We were together awhile before Brutus and awhile after. He has been there through surgeries, through late night freak-out phone calls and most importantly Daddy Day Care. Though, we haven't been together in over a year, Daddy still been taking care of my little munchkin; whenever I need him. I am not sure what exactly they do when I am not there but I imagine a lot of rolling around in dirt and going to strip clubs together. Every time I pick him up, he is full of dirt and seems to be hiding something. I recently got the chance to see "what I have been missing" at the old cabana of our lost relationship and well... it looks exactly the same. There is of course the hidden scent of any kind of female there. There are no more cute candles, no more perfectly placed picture frames, my flowers have all died and there is no more me. I spent hours on that house for it to be turned back into a bachelor pad. A perfect place for Brutus and his boys to break beer bottles together and play basketball. And play basketball is what they did. I sat and watch while Daddy dribbles around Brutus with great ease. Brutus sits patiently and waits for his moment to attack! Bru obviously doesn't dribble himself but he does his best at biting the ball and chasing it over the driveway. It is pretty funny to watch. The cement quickly turns into a spittle-filled skating rink and before you know it, the dog looks like he is about to hyperventilate! The game is called and they hit the showers!  As "the men" hover over the steaks and talk about Bru's new love down the street, I get time to peek!  OK, OK, girls you are lying if you don't do this. I see if the bed looks like there have been two sleeping in it and I also look to see if there are any  girlie kind of cocktails in the fridge. You know the kind. Any pink and fizzy little alcohol/big headache kind. I look and surprisingly there is none. There is also the feeling of another girl being there. I have complied a checklist that he has moved on. I will keep in short cause I don't wanna seem too psycho. By the way he does read this blog..OK...

1. The place is picked-up, clean and organized. Most guys only clean up well, when a girl is coming over.
2. There are the obvious new box of condoms in the drawer.
3. There is a mysterious toothbrush and girlie soaps in the bathroom.
4. There is chic food in the fridge. Boy food is everything frozen and quick. aka Bagel Bites and Girl food is yogurt, fat-free salad dressings and skim milk.
5. There are left undies by the bed or an accidental left lipstick.
Accident or not, most women know what they are doing and they are marking their territory's. Just how Brutus hoists his muscular leg onto the nearest tree. That Bitch is Marking her Spot!  Though, the other night between steaks and taking Brutus yet for another walk, there was no obvious marked providence of any new girl? As I write it all down now, do I even care? Actually, more and more everyday... I Don't! They say that with time everything gets easier, and I think I have finally had enough time. Just keep any kind of Bitch away from my dog or we are going to have divide the territories and find a new "Daddy!"

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