Slim or Super?

Adventure #3

There are certain things that boyfriends, guy friends or boys for that matter shouldn't know about. One word... Tampon. They are a need of most girls in everyday life. Yet embarrassing idea of one; they are a requirement for proper hygiene in most of the world. Well, at least on the west coast of Florida. Hey, Yes! I use em. There! Well, when months have past since your X-Boyfriend has heard you talk about them in any kind of facet, it's weird to call him up with such a story. See many women want men that come to the rescue at a drop of a hat. AKA "fireman syndrome!" I have no problem as a woman in 2011 asking a man to rescue me in certain situations. I can change a tire, nail things into the wall and even kill the biggest spider slithering across the hallway. Though in some times, I need a man to rescue me from grave danger. My 65 pound bulldog AKA Brutus Beefcake AKA garbage collector decided to yet again to dump my trash can over. I was in the shower rocking out to Alicia Keys and didn't hear him rubbishing. Once out of the shower I realized that I have a raccoon leaving in my house. From a sudden recap of "used" tampons I notice two were missing? Holy Crap! and ah, HOLY GROSS! My dog is a male, so what the hell does he want a tampon for? 

Forgot to tell you guys I am on my way to work and can't investigate the missing Pearl Girl Tampon mystery. So yep, I made the call.... Made the call to the X-Boyfriend. DAh DA NAANAAAAH!!! (Picture a red flying cape!)AKA "Daddy." We will call him "John." John, as he did through our whole relationship told me to calm down. Calm down? All I wanna do is freak out! Is he going throw it up and eat it again? Is he going to poop it all out? John reluctantly drives over  to my castle de rental and says he will let me know the outcome.... Tick! Tock! Back to work.... Listening to some of my regulars blabbing about their weekends, I can't help but block them out and think about the bloody mess I have back at home. (No Pun Intended.) What the Hell! Is he going to get Toxic Shock Syndrome? Anyway, I get the call a few hours later of great but embarrassing joy! YEAH!  The little bugger pooped it out! String and all! The sun was about to set, there was ocean waves crashing in the background.. The music sets in and there was my X's and bulldogs silhouette in the driveway. One Tampon and Two!  I wonder if Tampax Pearl picture this in their advertisement?