Mr. Tequila

Adventure #59 My Live-In Cock Blocker

As you all well know....I have been single for over two years. Within that amount of time, I have dated a handful of losers, prepubescents, trouble makers and snobs. All, that has all been in the last month! So, when one fun one fell in my lap, I didn't resist and sealed the deal with a kiss at my house. If only there wasn't a slobbering, growling gate keeper at my front door; ready to pounce on anyone that didn't resemble Uncle James and Auntie Jill. We will call him "Mr. Tequila." See, I call him that because we met at a Tequila Bar and instead of hanging with Uncle James all night, I decided to tag "Mr. Tequila" for the rest of the evening, with the help of my new favorite Tequila... Revolucion. P.S I have enclosed the link to this new 100 proof Tequila and even though the website is awesome...It doesn't talk about the wonders it does for female balls and how it instantly propels women to new confident heights! So given my blank track record, I decided to switch things up and let "Mr. Tequila" walk me home. Back to Start. Literally. I describe Brutus as a mouthwatering, crazy train and decided that I should just start handing out my blog posts prior to future dates. There really is no warning in the official first meeting of the Bru. And there are not enough adjectives in the dictionary. This guy was screwed from the very beginning. This guy had no chance of Pass Go. This guy was doomed from the start. Something that I never mentioned throughout my posts is the fact that in the back of my mind when purchasing this over-the-top expensive beast, I thought that if me and Mr. X would have not worked out... This dog would be awesome to pick up dudes with! Apparently, that statement was completely FALSE! Here's the scenario... Me and "Mr. Tequila" stubble home and barely opened the door when the gate keeper approached.  My Dates Eyes the size of saucers jolted backwards and down the front patio steps. Brutus furiously lunged for  "Mr. Tequila" as I with all my strength grabbed his collar and yanked him back inside. I thought I had him all the way in when Brutus rammed through the inside door, out the front door and jumped, gripped and torn onto my new suitors left bare leg. It was a scene out of a bad porno movie as sheer terror ripped over "Mr. Tequila's face!!!!!!! If Bru could speak.. he would have said.."Who's my Bitch Now? I gripped him again, scooted him back inside and apologized for my terror filled meatball. Within seconds, he planted one on me.. the new guy, not Brutus and instead of that Danielle Steel Feeling of fireworks... the sound of growling, whining and hate came from behind the glass inside door. Brutus was on watch, pissed-off and steaming up the window with PURE HATE! Bottom line, I am out there. Bottom Line, some of it is a nightmere. Bottom line, I decided that the 100 Percent 28 year old "Mr. Tequila," wasn't aged to Perfection enough for me to go back for another taste!

http://www.tequilarevolucion.com/en/

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cockblock